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| poop x.WARNING: this entry contains graphic material not suitable for those who dont wanna read about poop.
wow. so i decided way back when that i would never force any entries...cuz then stuff gets really watered down....and that i'd only do one if i really felt compelled.
im compelled. right now.
i almost crapped my pants in front of 3 friends (one of which was an innocent guest from california.)
so im at st. lucy's and i leave the adoration chapel cuz i felt ridiculous gassy. i go outside and its bombs over baghdad...in my booty. my first thought was like wow...this is a lot of gas.
my 3 friends come out, we say our goodbyes but then i realize i cant walk....because a sharp pain ensued and it was one of those moments in the movies where the guy first sees the meteor coming towards earth on his radar screen and realizes he has 1 hour to notify the nations etc.
only this was much worse. it felt like a wolverine in my booty prying its way out. i immediately stopped taking steps toward my car and said "omg, i gotta crap!"
i could feel donatello slowly peeking his head out so i tossed my keys to friend A and screamed "box of tissues in my car!!"
i stood frozen....cuz i knew if i moved it woulda been chocolate rain. even the slightest step in any direction would've unleashed any person's public/hygenic nightmare.
it subsided for a few seconds and i quickly assessed the situation....scanning around like a frantic macguyver for a solution. do i go in the bushes? behind the parked cars? in the garbage can? all of which were at least 5-10 steps away.....but even one sidestep would've forced this downward eruption.
my friends were laughing all throughout the episode until they realized it was getting more serious then they thought. friend B ran back into the chapel to ask where the closest bathroom was. it was while he left that my second battle began.
this was the big one. it started back up like a kick-drum and floor tom combination in the build up portion of any worshp song. i knew this was it. it was now or never. i didnt wanna give up....so i said im gonna give this all i got. i grabbed friend A's shoulder and tensed up my entire body. total involvement. it was a team effort. my pinky toes were in solidarity with my eyebrows.....my fists clenched with the same intensity as my perched lips. it felt like i was fighting against a dozen mma fighters...all pounding downward wanting to exit out of the octagon that tonite....was my booty.
this was probably the worst pain ever.....my eyes squinted so hard that i almost went dizzy....the whole time saying "why Lord? why?!"
the episode lasted 20 seconds at most....but thats a lot of time. (at this point i had been standing at the same spot in the parking lot for almost 10-15 minutes, refusing to move out of confident fear that it would be to my demise.)
friend B appears out of nowhere, with a key connected to a huge wooden keychain.....that to me looked just as glorious as the gold monstrance i had just got done adoring.
i slowly and carefully waddled my way to the bathroom and was able to dispose of the enraged stool that nearly slayed me in the middle of a parking lot.
of course instant relief came, complimented with jokes and laughter etc....but i started reflecting on my life....and realized that there have been significant crap moments from my childhood that i distinctly remember...all as equally embarrasing....and definitely more disgusting.
"open lot dump"/age, dont know....young boy: i went with my aunt to this open lot where her house was being built in the philippines. i dont remember much, but i know i crapped my pants....and she had to wash my booty from this little faucet thing that was sticking out of the ground. we were out in the open in front of everyone....and she had nothing but her hands and the water from the faucet.
"crying wall dump" - age, dont know...young boy again: i was with my mom at some party and i guess i crapped my pants...but the unforgettable scene was in the bathroom when my mom was so pissed....she was like "i cant believe you did it again!!!" and i felt so bad that i leaned my face against the wall and started crying.....somberly saying "im sorryyyyy....im sorryyyy"....exactly like those drug addict movie scenes where the guy is crying in the shower while leaning up against the wall cuz he realizes his life is a waste etc.
"green seattle tub dump" - again young boy.....dont know what happened....but i crapped like crazy in my aunt's bathtub and it was all green. it looked like a scene from double dare, or that someone took a double barrel shotgun to that green ghost from ghostbusters. i have NO idea what i ate.....and i have no idea why it was all in the tub....but it was green pudding....liters of it. splashed about. and my poor aunt had to clean it up.
tonite was the last straw. this was an attack, and history shows that i've been unprepared for it 3 times before. if it beat me, my friends would've been subject to foul smell and sight. people wanna go out to see you...not your poop.
this weekend im gonna assemble pieces to a glorious emergency crapkit. it will include a camper's mini potty, plastic bags, baby wipes, toilet paper, bottles of water, a bar of soap and disinfectant. i'll then keep them all in my trunk in some kind of case or crate.
never. again.
thanks to my friends who were with me tonite. seriously, your presence and support through what was probably one of the toughest moments in my life, speaks loudly of your selflessness and kindness of heart.
i wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.
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| wussup x!just wanted to say thanks to anyone who might've offered up a prayer for me. finally done with all my papers and exams....and my first full year at the sem is over. it feels so awesome to finally be done. theres nothing comparable to that feeling when you finish your last exam....so liberating.
so this one goes out to all the students out there still hard at work.....study hard..pray harder....and i'll see you at the finish line.
Godbless.
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| *straightface* x.in the library at 2:42am. tired. a fly flew into my eye. grossed out.
update: 3 more papers. 3 more takehome exams. 3 more final exams. 9 more days.
Jesus, you brought me here. help?
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| *upwardheadnod* x.just wanted to do one last fun thing before i serve my 3 week sentence of academic JAIL TIME. if you guys can, please pray for me from now until may 7th. 5 papers and 9 exams. (4 take home, 2 oral and 3 in-class.)
pray for a brother. please.
in other news, i've received a couple letters and dvds in the mail and i realized.....I LOVE IT. hehehhe. so just in case anyone else would like to partake:
Gino de la Rama
Immaculate Conception Seminary
400 South Orange Avenue
South Orange, NJ 07079
unlike latin america where i moved around a lot, i'll be here for another 6 years. hehehhee....so feel free to send some love. id actually love some framed pictures of all different sizes. my room's pretty boring. so framed pictures of us having fun....or dvds. or both.....just no framed dvds. hehehhe
in other news, remember when you were young and you used to crack on your friends who couldnt dress up right? like whenever it was time to get formal, some of your friends just couldnt do it. stuff didnt fit right...colors were weird...the butterfly collars really shoulda been left in their cocoons....they would be sagging dress pants....wearing fitted hats and sneakers with suits etc. you'd look at em and just be like geez....buy a clue. but whats REALLY interesting now....when you have friends who ARE adults.....and KNOW how to dress formally....you find out they have no idea how to dress DOWN. they're like rockin sweatpants from when they were 16....shorts that are entirely too short....socks that are too high...sweatshirts or hoodies that look all ratty and faded.....hats with like an exxon logo....yeah i dunno. i just thought that was weird.
another old school pic for fun.
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| sup x.so im back in school. the break was good. went to chicago for a few days, then to italy. rome was amazing. as was assisi. and amalfi.
italians definitely talk a lot. mad animated too. my theory is that it comes from their really strong coffee.
its only been one semester but i feel so accomplished. hehehe. like im not so newbie anymore. still newbie....but not AS newbie.
im working out again for the first time in roughly 6 months. feels good. i mostly just rock the treadmill while playing loud music and acting like im in a rap video...walking with a posse etc.
would anyone out there like to write me or send me anything? we got tons of drawings/christmas cards from these elementary school kids and i didnt realize how cool it is to get stuff in the mail. lemme know if you're bored or have free time and would wanna do that.
im still taking prayer intentions. email me and i pray for them mondays and thursdays during holy hour.
anyone have cool spring break hookups? i really wanna go to some relaxing/awesome/exotic place, while not paying anything. is that possible? just wondering.
in other news, i havent consistently played the guitar in over 4 months. my goals of reaching amazingship seem to be even further out of reach.
last week, yes, january of 2009, i bought my first dvd player and 5 dvds. hehehhe....if you never knew, im not techy AT ALL. i have to ask my brother to do everything for me. i get discouraged to get cool new things, cuz after 6 months, cooler newer things come out then your cool new things is suddenly uncool and old.
so anyway, i finally got my first dvd player. hehehe....$30 bux. and i was pretty excited to buy my first 5 dvds. they are:
1. karate kid
2. teenage mutant ninja turtles
3. goonies
4. coming to america
5. goodfellas
*note: if theres even ONE movie you dont recognize, you've automatically withdrawn any future consideration for friendship with me.
im building a library of movies that i can watch at any time, over and over again. it was funny cuz as i was picking em out at target my brother was like "what about NEW movies?" i laughed in his face. cant you see? they havent withstood the test of time. sure a movie might be cool now...but will it be cool enough years from now? so much so that you could watch it over and over and over again and not mind? THOSE are the dvd's people should get. thats my criteria. if i can watch it and find the same jokes funny no matter how many times i've heard it, its gold.
heres an old pic for fun. check out my brook. hehhehehe.
peace.
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